DNC Schedule – Opening Day

Not sure who got a look at this and leaked it, but this is going around on Facebook:
2012 Democratic Convention Schedule – Charlotte, NC
Sep. 4, 2012
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by Whoopie Goldberg
4:15 PM – Tribute to George Soros for his help in creating and financing the Democratic Platform – Nancy Pelosi
4:30 PM – Reading of the Democratic Platform – Nancy Pelosi XXXX Canceled. Will be passed without reading. XXXX
4:30 PM – Tribute to the Occupy Wall Street movement for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment, and boost the economy – Harry Reid
4:45 PM – Jobs seminar – How to have a successful career without having a job – Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson
5:00 PM – Travel Seminar; “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer ‘ s Dime” – Michelle Obama.
5:30 PM – “Family Values” Seminar – Eliot Spitzer (via Satellite)
5:35 PM – Real Estate Bargains Seminar – Tony Rezko
6:00 PM – Home Mortgage Seminar – Barney Frank
6:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by George Clooney
6:15 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
6:30 pm – Kinder, Gentler Bombing Techniques – Bill Ayers
6:45 PM – Paying Your Fair Share – Timothy Geitner
7:00 PM – Free Governor Blagovich rally
7:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
7:30 PM – Dramatized film re-enactment of Obama’s single handed capture of Osama Bin Laden – Michael Moore
7:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangel
7:50 PM – Commitment to US border security – Atty Gen Holder
8:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by David Letterman
8:15 PM – Media Seminar – Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
9:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers – Dem Natl Cmte Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
9:15 PM – Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / Profiting with Green Investments – Al Gore
10:00 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ & Afghanistan
10:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama – led by Barbra Streisand
10:15 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
10:20 PM – Obama accepts Congressional Medal of Honor for Bin Laden capture
10:25 PM – Obama accepts Greenpeace Hero Medal for instant cleanup of Gulf oil spill, and blocking of Keystone Pipeline
10:30 PM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris ” He sends a thrill up my leg ” Matthews
10:45 PM – *** Break for installation of additional teleprompters ***
11:00 PM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing (Food stamps distributed to all delegates as they leave.)
1:00 AM – Convention Hall cleared and cleaned
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers His Acceptance Speech (Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T)
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2 Comments

Filed under Administration, Humor, Progressives

2 responses to “DNC Schedule – Opening Day

  1. McCloud

    That cracks me up every time I see it.

  2. This would be funny if it were not so close to the truth.

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